I too can emphasise with what Barry writes here. I’m probably not alone.
As a child, I would sometimes lie awake with eyes like full moons, horrified by the blankness of eternity: vast, unending, unavoidable. There would never be any hiding from it, no escape, not even in death. This was the type of universe in which I was trapped, and there was no other. Heaven might as well be hell; the sheer duration would eventually poison it.