Breaking News: God To Reveal He’s Not Sure He Believes In Himself

Publishing houses—and the very fabric of the universe—have been shook today by the revelation that the Almighty God may have started to doubt Himself. The Lord God Almighty, who’s continual existence maintains of all creation, is rumoured to be on the verge of finalising his second complete book since his Magnus Opus the Bible and early reports indicate that God will use it to confess His self doubt.

Self-styled prophet and spokesperson of the Lord Hananiah Azzurson who is acting as a liaison between the Lord God Almighty and the world’s major publishing houses claimed today that God’s new book would shock readers the world over. “He’s very candid in it.” said Azzurson. “Ever since this new wave of atheism started He’s struggled to believe in his own existence. Dawkins’ latest works have really challenged His belief in Himself. The last time I spoke to Him he was just sitting there unleashing a colossal storm upon the mountains of Colorado. He didn’t say much, other than the words that spoke the rain into thunderous hailstones.”

It can only be assumed that the Father of all creation who dwells in light inaccessible is particularly troubled over Dawkins demonstration that life could have come into existence and evolve without the need for a creator God. “If someone comes in with that level of critique about your ability to do the job and indeed exist it can be hard to take it objectively” notes psychologist Larry Larrenson “God’s probably feeling a bit unsure of Himself right now. Hopefully He’ll put through it, for the sake of the perpetuation of the universe.”

The problem isn’t just affecting God the Father; reports indicate that God the Son and God the Holy Spirit have started questioning themselves and each other over doubts. “While Jesus was seated at the right hand of the Father interceding for the saints and holding together all of creation, He and the Spirit had a very long chat about how they could be three persons and yet also one God.” Said Azzurson. “It’s hard to tell how long they spoke for due to the weight of the glory of their presence that filled the eternal throne room, but it seemed like a while.”

At time of writing the LORD God Almighty was still ruling the heavens and the earth with his mighty right hand.