Breaking News: Devon Woman First To Gain 100 Clean CRBs

Mrs Joyce Webber from Exeter was shocked to find this week that she’d be cleared by the Criminal Records Bureau for the hundredth time. She is the first person to accomplish this feat.

Mrs Webber was at home on Monday 28th June when she received a letter with the royal seal on it. She discovered that it was an official letter from the Queen congratulating her on her achievement. “To be honest, I was shocked, I thought I was on 98 CRBs and I hadn’t had to submit one for at least a month so I wasn’t expecting any back, and then this letter comes in from Her Majesty and I was over-joyed”. Mrs Webber has been the record holder for most CRBs since her closest rival punched a small child in the face, making her ineligible for working with children and, crucially, gaining a clean CRB. The Criminal Records Bureau have confirmed that Mrs Webber is the first person to officially gain 100 clean CRB checks. They have also confirmed that Mrs Webber will receive the first diamond CRB when they sort out their backlog.

Mrs Webber has managed to achieve her record by amassed a vast amount of voluntary hours with dozens of different charities and companies, all with their own arcane laws about who should receive CRBs. Her advice to those trying to match her achievements is to find your passion, volunteer for everyone who’ll have you, and not move house for at least five years.

Asked what her favourite CRB was she replied “I think it was the one that got away. When I applied to help with guide camp I had to apply for my CRB for the residential centre and as it was very last minute I rushed the form that evening, but when I came to post the form the next day I realised I’d done it in dark blue instead of black but I risked it anyway. The returned it and by then it was too late to reapply and so I missed the camp”.

CRB checks have grown in popularity since their relatively low-key launch in 2002. A recent celebrity CRB auction made over ten thousand for charity, and six months ago an under 18’s CRB was launched to cash in on the craze. Last year James Prestwhick, 27, from Littlehampton, claimed to have broken the hundred mark, however under inspection it was discovered that he had repeated volunteered and stepped down for various charities to artificially boost his numbers. In court he pled guilty to deceiving rightful authorities and bringing the CRB into disrepute. His sentence? A criminal conviction that prevented him from working with the children and vulnerable adults.

To find out more about the CRB and its rise to fame, follow thegroveisonfire.com from 7pm each night as it trace the highs and the lows of the CRB, in our exclusive 5 part series: Documentary Evidence Sheet: Inside the CRB.