How To Fake A Prayer

Mate,

I’m not quite sure how it’s happened, but I’ve been asked to pray at Steve and Melinda’s wedding on Saturday, don’t think they know I’m not a Christian and it’s too late to tell them. You’re a Christian though so maybe could you give me a good idea on how to fake it?

Dave.


Dave,

Well, I’m not sure how good an idea faking a prayer is but if you’re determined to, here’s some basic advice:

  1. When Christians pray, they pray to God as a loving Father. So try to imagine God as a loving Father.
  2. God has promised to listen and answer prayers, however that may be.
  3. Jesus secures us God’s favour, so he always wants the best for us and works things out for our good. He’s very generous.
  4. It’s not the length of your prayers that matter.

Hope that helps,

Frank


Frank,

Alright, here’s my best effort (don’t mock!).

Father, you know how you love me and Steve and Christine? Well, because you love them so much and can do anything, can you give them a happy marriage? I know you’re listening and I know you want to. Thanks Dad.

Dave


Dave,

Okay, that’s a good start I guess, but I probably should have been clearer. When I say, pray to God as Father I didn’t quite mean like he was your actual Dad. I mean, He is still God after all, so some distance is appropriate. Also, people generally avoid asking God for things directly in prayer, I know I said He answers all prayers, but just in case he doesn’t it’s good to indirectly ask, so say things like “I ask that you’ll give me…” or “we pray that you’ll” instead of “give me…”. Obviously God does answers all prayers, but it’s not quite that simple, and you don’t want to seem rude when you ask God for stuff. And you might want to try making it longer… Again, I probably should have been clearer, it’s not that longer is better, but you can get more in that way. Sorry, should have been clearer the first time around, hope that helps.

Frank