The Grove Is On Fire

Translating The Qu'ran

For long and complicated reasons that I won't go into here, but I assure you, are hilarious, I was lent a DVD series of a debate between a Dr Zakir Naik and a Dr William Campbell called "The Quran & The Bible In The Light Of Science". It's around four hours of rip-roaring side-splitting fun, in which both parties throw aside the notion that their respective holy books are the ultimate guide to truth and chose to submit their beliefs to the word of science in the hope that that will somehow prove which one of the religions is the winner. And by "the hope that that will somehow prove which one of the religions is the winner" I mean "the hope that that will impress the audience with their clever arguments and turns of phrase and so prove which one of the religions is the more acceptable". In short, if you want to hear tedious arguments about whether or not the moon being described as a lamp or a direct light destroys the (alleged) word of God, then this is the DVD for you.

In all this though, there is occasionally a glimmer of interestingness, unintentionally revealed during arguments over the size of mountains, or in the below case, the Arabic word which can be translated blood clot. Watch the clip, paying close attention to the last line that he says.

Bad arguments from Matthew 10:5-6 and Matthew 15:24¹ aside, there's something really wrong going on here. Dr Naik agrees with the man he's debating with about how to find out what a word used in a historical document really means. Go back to the source, see how it's used in the source, see how it's used at the time the source was written. That's the meaning of the word. In writing this sentence, I use the word "writing", in previous times this would have meant putting something down onto paper with an instrument like a pen. Now it can include typing too. Meanings change or adapt over time, therefore you've got to see how the word was originally used. In the Bible, the words were given to people at a specific time in a language they could understand. God reveals himself in a way we can understand. Is there an eternal meaning? Of course, but how can we know that if it's not given in words that people can understand and translate?

That's not true of the Qu'ran says Dr Naik, "So as far as the Qu'ran is concerned you cannot limit the meaning for only that time, because it is meant for eternity". The Qu'ran is a book of which the words have an eternal meaning. Just because the early Muslims would have understood a word to mean one thing doesn't mean that the word actually means that. So the phrase they thought meant "Here is the word of God" could actually eternally mean "Here is the word of a carp". Which kinda makes the entirety of the Qu'ran nonsense. I mean, reasonably following this logic, you could rightly say about any verse "ah, but we don't understand the Arabic here correctly, we think it means 'sword', but eternally it means 'the first series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer' ".

And so what you've got is not the Qu'ran with eternal meaning, but the Qu'ran with no meaning.

¹ I'm not sure I should even bother with a rebuttal, reading either of the passages in full shows the nonsense of his position. Even the second more difficult passage ends with Jesus saying "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." Or better yet, you could read all of Matthew and hear the closing words; "Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Prince's Trust - Community Cash Awards

The Prince's Trust has young people led grants for up to £5000 for community projects. The young people involved have to all be struggling in school, employment, or training, or not in any of those things to qualify. I'm fairly certain it's not lottery funded either.

Will Willimon on Pastoral Wisdom

Will Willimon on Pastoral Wisdom, a list that if you used search and replace, would still stand up for youth ministry. Which makes sense seeing as youth ministry is a pastoral ministry.

• Successful pastoral ministry requires not only theological ability, biblical fidelity, and a good personality; it requires hard work! Pastors must be 'self-starters' who proactively engage their parishioners and their communities by knocking on doors, engaging in conversation, making contacts and other efforts to reach people. Disciplined, determined work is required.

• Faithful pastors must have a vivid sense of vocation, a sense of being summoned by God to do this work. The work that pastors do is too demanding to do it for any other reason than the conviction that one is called to do this work, that God wants you to do it.

• The only enduring reasons for being in ministry are theological. Pastors must constantly refurbish their sense that this is a 'God thing,' that ministry is more than a mere 'helping profession.' Pastoral ministry arises out of theological commitments and is dependent upon what God is doing in the church and the world.

• Though some seem to believe that pastoral visitation is outmoded, there is no substitute for meeting people where they live, from offering yourself to them through visiting in their homes and businesses.

• Pastoral ministry is relational. Your people must believe that you care about them, that you know them individually, and that you are trying to love them.

(Via Between Two Worlds.)

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Youth Work Salary Survey

There's an American youth work salary survey up on the web. If you're not American then it may not even be worth reading it, seeing as your logic will inevitably be "hey, due to the exchange rate and living standards, they're all earning more than me" which while my make yourself feel all righteous and indignified, won't actually be true.

On Engagement

There are ten thousand books on dating, and ten hundred thousand on marriage. There are hundreds on singleness and at least dozens on being widowed. There is though, as far as I can see, only bare units on engagement. Maybe it's because in today's society engagement is just an expensive arrangement that you do next if you want to please the missus. (True story, the fiancée and I a were at a wedding reception the other day and found out another couple were engaged. "Congratulations" we say "have you set a date?" "yes" she replies "next year". Her partner squeezes her hand and smiles at her awkwardly "I was surprised when we actually set a date, I thought we wouldn't.") Or maybe it's because engagement is seen as something to survive through. It's dating that's the hard work; deciding who your partner should be and at what stage you should change your status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and whether or not you do get engaged. That's the tough bit. Once you're engaged though you're effectively strapped in so you've just got to tough it out.

Or maybe just as some people send their idle moments working out how to secure their current location from zombie hordes, so some people spend their days dreaming of their perfect partner, the beautiful house and their seven children. And so while a lot of forward planning can be done –where to go on the first date, what food to stockpile– once you've said yes and the approaching zombie hordes are coming, you realise that you haven't really planned for this stage and just fall back on the few basic rules you know and try and make it through; don't go off alone, don't sleep together, plan a good wedding, aim for the head. And then hopefully, you'll make it through the long dark night / period of engagement.

And that's probably the end of sustained metaphor on this website.

So maybe there's just not much to say on the subject. But then, I'm currently engaged and the question I have to wonder about is how do you live being engaged? And it's not like the Bible doesn't speak rather a lot about engagement. I mean the church is currently engaged to Christ so maybe it's a bigger idea than people make out.

Or maybe it's just that books don't sell on engagement because when people get engaged they go "Oh bother, I've got to pay for a wedding". So maybe it's just that engagement is not the best time to market a book.

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Top 10 Ways a Church Could Tell Students They Love Them

Here is a list of how to tell young people at your church you love them. I prefer giving them pizza but whatever. Actually, the best way, is to not let your church become a church where the young people think "well, we're not really part of the church, so we'll just whatever".

New Inter-Varsity Press Website

Inter-Varsity Press have a new website in beta. IVP is to my bookshelf as Marks and Spencer is to my underwear draw, so this is clearly exciting news.

The Best Weapon For Water Wars

Carrying on in yesterday's theme, The Slate has a review of six seemingly arbitrarily chosen water pistols. For those of you just tuning in for the first time; I can legitimately buy one of these for work.

A Brief History Of The Church

An overview of the church after the book of Acts. I'm sure there are lots of these sorts of resources on the internet, but this is one I've come across. Useful so you don't look like such a idiot when you get the various Lateran Councils mixed up at your uncle's garden party.

A History Of The Super Soaker

A Brief History, in chart form, of the super soaker. Surely essential reading before summer residentials? (via)

Free Resource Tuesday

The Good Book Company have a free download section, which includes talks from the last few Bible Centred Youth Worker Conference. I've attended two out of the last three years and so can vouch that the talks are nothing but good. The Five Sessions of Heaven and Hell resource references both "Winnie the Pooh" and "Hey Nostradamus" at the end so it can't be that bad.

The sex factor: Guardian Schools special reports

The Guardian has a special report on Sex Education in schools in the UK. In the typical Guardian style, you can almost feel the vitriol when speaking about more conservative parents, but it's a good over view of where sex education is currently at, and some of the facts and figures around it.

On Productivity

We run a driving theory course as part of our outreach and Christian love for the young people we work with. The logic goes; our young people are dropping out of education with no qualifications, they want money, realise that getting a job isn't that easy and then realise that they need qualifications for a good job. Also, they want to learn to drive. But for the above reasons they can't afford to learn to drive. Also, it turns out that having a driving license is a pretty good qualification. So we teach young people the highway code in small numbers every few months so they can pass the driving theory test. Hopefully one day we'll be able to teach them all of the driving test, but the theory gets them farther along that way. We do all this because it is a a loving act. You should try them some day, they're pretty neat.

Anyway, today saw me making a introduction quiz with some of the questions that you might be tested on during the driving theory test. Pick a random question from the driving theory test bumper question book, type it up, then repeat. Except it's hard to pick a random question from a book, after all, a book pretty much always falls open near the middle (Section 9: Motorway Rules). So I wrote some 3 lines of php code to pick a random section (out of the 14 sections) and then a random number out of the maximum number of questions in a section (155).

echo rand(0,14);
echo '<br />';
echo rand(0,155);

So I started using that. And then I realised that it had a bug in that 0-14 is inclusive of 0, and there is no section 0 (unless you count 'a message from the Chief Driving Examiner', but that has no questions so I don't). So I rewrote the code.

echo rand(1,14);
echo '<br />';
echo rand(1,155);

But lo, it wasn't very long before I realised that if it selected a question in any of the smaller sections (eg Section 14: Vehicle Loading or Section 12: Documents) then the number for the question would far too often be far too high. I mean, Section 2: Attitude only has 49 questions in it, what do I do if the number generator pulls out a 127?. So I decided to rewrite it to make it useful every time.

$sectionlist = array(0,39,49,114,56,98,86,63,66,76,155,41,79,15);
$section = rand(1,14);
echo $section;
echo '<br />';
echo rand(1,$sectionlist[$section]);

And then on the way to lunch I realised that it was still going to be biased to the shorter sections and so actually I needed to work out how to weight answers to certain sections. And then I realised OH DEAR ME WHAT ON EARTH WAS I DOING.

And so that, in short, is how we'll all live happier and more productive lives because of the ever growing abundance of technology in the world.

'No-hoper' now an Urban Hero

Short-ish article on the Message Trust in Manchester and their award ceremony for teenagers. Alas, being not a Christian paper, it doesn't go into detail about the motivations of the volunteers, and treats the only mentioned conversation as part of this guys rehabilitation process, not foundational too it. If anyone knows anyone in the Message trust, I'd love to go up and see some of their work at some point.

Ten Reason To Cheer Our Teenagers

Mark Easton with Ten Reasons To Cheer Our Teenagers

Reading the great British press, one might be forgiven for thinking that all our teenagers are binge-drinking, drug-addled, knife-wielding thugs ready to leap out and stab a granny for a fiver...

But I thought it might be timely to remind ourselves that youth doesn't necessarily mean yob.

(via)

Most Young People Want a Bigger Cinema

From the department of 'oh really', comes the news story, that when interviewed, the young people of Bognor Regis want a multiplex cinema. I link, because I'm as amazed there are young people in Bognor Regis as you are.

The Grove Is On Fire

I'm loath to start up something that's been done before, especially something that's been done before in such a large amount and so recently. (I think I'm even loath to start something by saying how loath I am to start something because it's been so much done before, so much has that been done before; alas,) In the last few weeks and months, it seems like everyone and his iPod has started up a website devoted to youth work and theology, and youth work and ministry, and youth work and church mission so throwing something else out there, another website about youth work and the Christian life, seems like a fairly awful idea. But the internet being the soapbox that it is, self-loathing aside, I'm going to start a website about it. And by website I mean weblog. I mean one person writing about youth stuff. They'll be no 'resourcing' here, no informative sessions plans or curriculum built around self-esteem and the book of Judges, just links to things that might be helpful and tirades into the ether.

So, this is what this is then; a weblog about doing Christian ministry with young people from me, a youth worker from a reasonably reformed evangelical background.

Alright, mostly about doing Christian ministry with young people, occasionally about other important topics such as that photo I took the other day, music of the early 21st century, the promotion chances of Ipswich Town football club, and the difference between crackling and pork-scratchings.

Alright, from a youth worker who is a five point Calvinist.

It'll be great.

Why I don't believe in incarnational mission

I've always had a nagging suspicion of 'incarnational mission' - the use of the incarnation as a for mission.

The Establishment Paedophile: How A Monster Hid In High Society

The Spectator has a harrowing article on paedophilia and child abuse. It's worth reading not thinking "oh gosh, there are paedophiles everywhere" but just to realise how hidden paedophilia can be.

Child abuse, like domestic abuse, happens behind the most expensive, salubrious of doors and we need to face up to this. It was the complacent conviction that it could not happen in a nice middle-class suburb that meant Fritzel could go about his hideous double life in Austria with his family in the cellar, unnoticed for so long. At least Fritzel's house looks like a grim prison-block that allows us to set him apart and view him as a freak. Took, on the other hand, lived in a beautiful, spacious home in Chelsea, surrounded by paintings and books, and was able to blind those around him with the sheer weight of his glamour and assured social status. Many paedophiles can. It is as if a man of intelligence and achievement cannot take the intellectual leap into such darkness. But he clearly can -- and has.

Advertising Condoms Before The Watershed

The Teenage Pregnancy Independent Advisory Group has handed their annual report to the British government and among the many pieces of advice contained in it, they recommend altering broadcasting standards so that "positive sexual health messages, including the advertising of condoms, are communicated effectively before the 9pm broadcast watershed". Guess which headline the papers ran with.

People writing news stories; as good scare mongering as it is, this still doesn't mean you're going to see adverts for condom's before Blue Peter. Also, people writing government reports, you think the young people needing to use condoms are going to stop watching TV at 9pm?

David Cameron on absent black fathers

The Guardian has an interview with David Cameron where he mentions Barack Obama's recent comments about absent black fathers. In short he, in line with Obama says that absent fathers are a bad thing, and it seems to be a major problem among black young men. At the time of writing though, both are still despicable plagiarists as neither have acknowledged stealing their ideas off Chris Rock.

Preaching to Smothered Mamma's Boys

One of the least talked about devastations in masculine formation is the boy who was not rescued from the bosom of women and initiated into the world of men. Many fathers fail to initiate their sons into the masculine journey which has very damaging, long-term effects. Preachers and teachers must figure out a way to initiate these men into kingdom mission.

Preaching to Smothered Mama's Boys

An Update On The Governments Strategy On Youth Crime

Going to visit stabbing victims is out (though was apparently never in), more community based solutions are in. On top of this, the Mirror reports everyone caught carrying a knife is going to have to do 300 hours community service in bright white jumpsuits on a Friday and a Saturday night. I'm not sure where they evidence their 30 week plan for no social life from, but I'm sure it'll have a chance to roll out before someone changes their mind.

Protest disrupts bishop's sermon

On Sunday Gene Robinson got heckled during his sermon. Questions over why the vicar of the church he spoke at thought it was a good idea to allow him to speak on unity and not being divisive when he's appearing in the country to attend a conference he explicitly wasn't invited to remain.

Adults give young 'bad example'

Alas, not from Sir Alan Sugar, but from Sir Alan Steer, a head teacher about to publish a report on tackling bullying:

Sir Alan [Steer] told the Guardian: "It's connected to a violent sub-culture. But we bear some responsibility. Sometimes as adults we don't model the behaviour we would want youngsters to follow. We live in a greedy culture, we are rude to each other in the street. Children follow that."